terça-feira, 18 de dezembro de 2012

todas ridículas

Let me write you a love letter. Not because I love you, but because you can read the criptic of my senseless words. I can't say but I can say how much I would have loved to love you forever. Because if I wrote a true love letter it would rest in the sand, as restless as the serious kisses of a fallen star. Let me write you a love letter, you of all people. Not because I love you, but because you are, forever, my only recipient.

Não tenho mais correspondentes em quatro capitais do mundo, não há tinta verdadeira que aguente tanta realidade e tanta vista grossa. Não é possível escrever sem ficção, e o meu amor verdadeiro vive em prisão domiciliar, tão maciço quanto possível, em sua falta crônica de altar. Realidademente branco, saciado por essa falta incontestável de sede, e verde feito uma pera forte. não é que se queira não ou talvez, quer-se e quero-me todos os sins com n ou não que me poderão vir nessa direção. No topo de cada uma das tantas montanhas, três outros desejos por outros tantos topos, e vales talvez. Não plageio: chupo, traduzo e parafraseio, tenho calma e respeito por tudo o que anda sobre o chão. Faltam entretanto, as outras nuvens de gás lacrimogênio.

Curse me, oh curse me for I sin, father. I want to write love letters to all of my past loves, pst, just so I can understand that I can still smell like daisies or the distant roses of letting go, in the pit of pitch-black stomach as I once did, I shall find the strange insect of laughter, and I shall see that no one, like me, has ever written a real love letter to anyone in the history of the universe.

I'd very much like to write you the very first love letter of the universe. I'd very much like to write you the very first verse of this long-since written prose, ending in the choice of finding the one and only, the rose.

Por onde anda minha capacidade de não saber dizer o tanto do meu amor, se perdi sete páginas e oito mil cartões postais, foi à procura de uma folha real na qual não fosse precisa uma única palavra. Ainda assim, sofro de osteoporose demasiadamente anunciada por tantas píluas anti-stress e calor. Luzes de natal. Faltam palavras e meias verdades como sobram luzes insuportáveis de natal por entre essas janelas que me recuso a ver. Preferia o tempo dos faróis de carros refletidos na chuva.

não sei te escrever cartas de amor, porque me falta a transparência dos dias da falta. Falta-me a transparência absoluta com a qual entreguei meu coração a estranhos. Falta-me a distância segura e a certeza de que não éramos e não seríamos jamais nada além de erros ortográficos. Guardo, sem segredo nenhum, o amor mais perfeito e incondicional pelo erro que fomos, pelo erro que eu soube plenamente ser. Sem a angústia que só poderia ser acalmada em toques de inverdade versificada, não me resta absolutamente nada para dizer. Nada que me mate a sede insuportável de poder ser absoluta e perfeitamente verdadeira, como só se pode em ficção. E porque você não se trata de ficção, não posso não sei e jamais saberei te escrever uma carta de amor.

So I plead, once more, to the distance of all my mistakes, could I write one last love letter to my only un-true love, left in the left banks of the south river, shadowy and darkly made of no matter, of no light and of no one but these sweet eyes I will forever call mine. Could I write one last pile of phrases for us, so I can keep breathing, so that I can keep stepping on real ground, holding onto real wheels and eating real pieces of raw earth... One last pile of fiction in our memory and in our imagination, to our only home and our only true place, inside the only existence of our lonely true face. A bottle of water, a river of hours, an image on an imagined painting.

terça-feira, 4 de dezembro de 2012

Dance For You

I wake up to the sound of a thousand claps rhythmic and at once. Jinglelulaly jumps.... clap clap clap
urge, oh thanks, oh come, urge, I've missed you
The need
Steady now, steady now.
How does it go? The rythm, how does it go?
-repeat- so I don't lose it. Only 3:28. Three minutes, twenty-eight seconds for me to remmember how it

 goes. how it comes. It goes like this, and this way it flows. Stay away and I'll scream you a song ooo ooo 
booggie wooggie, you wouldn't believe I've found it again.
I've found it again, I've found it again, booggie wooggie turtles and ships, I've found it again
Hold on til the next january when it comes craaaaaaaaaaaaaaashing
craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaashing
Til 3:28, I'll keep it til it
Shake up like you mean to flyyyy of my window sweet
peaches plums cherry straw... starw... how did it go?
Garden of gargoyles and I'm a plague of a plagiarist, my nipitty tippity toad
Baby don't blow too hard on the bubble, baby keep winding the tug of
waaaaaaltz


booggie wooggie, you wouldn't believe I've found it again.
I've found it again, I've found it again, booggie wooggie turtles and ships, I've found it again
Hold on til the next january when it comes craaaaaaaaaaaaaaashing
craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaashing


just for you, just for you....
breathing still as you read the alphabet song
the aaaalphabet song

Repeat for the third time, with feeling: 3:28, for me to wait
waves of tiny tiny tiny pomgrade juice
tiny tiny tiny tips from Mr Foam man
Mr Foam Man keep up the beat down to Cramberry Street, dear dear sweet

And pretend that, away from us, I can take intake and the last won't but be
the first take

on tiptoes so nails don't grow too long
dance on tips and on toes step on bits and on clothes
yours scattered ooo ooo

booggie wooggie, you wouldn't believe I've found it again.
I've found it again, I've found it again, booggie wooggie turtles and ships, I've found it again
Hold on til the next january when it comes craaaaaaaaaaaaaaashing
craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaashing

One more time, just one, so I remmember and blow you a hug, bow you a mug of
tea tea tea tea treasure maps under the hand of the sea
you bow of a bug man be
I'm not saying that it hasn't been, it still might oughtto, will and then...
three twenty eight and then
three twenty eight
and even if it goes baby it goes and goes and goes and goes
dance for me away, garden blaze and cherry mistakes
three twenty eight and...

booggie wooggie, you wouldn't believe I've found it again.
I've found it again, I've found it again, booggie wooggie turtles and ships, I've found it again
Hold on til the next january when it comes craaaaaaaaaaaaaaashing
craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaashing

you wouldn't believe, and if I repeat it once more I might just
just drop all the apples on the floor
but booggie wooggie for three twenty eight I'll find it again