quinta-feira, 28 de agosto de 2014

like grown-ups do

we started it all well thought out
I live in the outskirts of your gigantic town
We built the bridge out of flesh, there was nothing
could stop the need for this tree cut down
I was sure none but us had a clue
we planned the building from the first draft
just like grown-ups do

I can still remember the taste of the sea water that way. How you let me climb onto your back, and promised to love me one day.

we married each other, if I may say.
out of spite and love, in a mixture of promise and waste
in imagination: our friendship is bigger and wider, a nation
just like grown-ups do

I hated your politics, you hated my mother, I was a pacifist, you chased merit and honor
We disagreed and made plans, we stepped over our desires and each other's necks
just like grown-ups do

But I can still remember the way you would drag me down the stairs in the movie-theater,
with my eyes closed, screaming and laughing, my miniature roller-coster
your clothes
You took so long to love me back, I thought I might've died.
I rested on your shoulder and you said I knew you better than you knew yourself
you lied
We made up and made love
We walked out and got lost
had a picture frame, on the side of the shelf
Just like grown-ups do

We tied each other's hearts and nested each other's wounds
We let each other down and broke each other's fate
We never lay too far apart, you fell asleep when I cried
I fell asleep when you waked
Just like grown-ups do

I was histeric, you were aloof
I was too much, you wouldn't move
Just like grown-ups, no excuse.

We broke up and made up
more times than we could count
we tried it, and faked it, and cried our eyes out
Your found someone else, We said we'd marry one day
We promised to break our promises
Just like grown-ups do

We let it sit, we built that wall,
I can still see it from the moon
You wanted to have coffee
Just like grown-ups do
I said I don't drink coffee,
And neither do you.
You left after a storm,
I can't remember what year it was
I stood in the rain, till it washed me of you.
I wanted to have coffee
I didn't have a clue
I wanted to be friends, bought a present for you
You told them not to bother,
That I'd never get through
I wanted to ask you
Why, when and who
But we let it sit forever
Stale ruined love
Like grown-ups do.

The tale of the days before is the tale I would like to take home
When we didn't try to play house, when we weren't so alone
The days when there was no bridge, no building, no plans
When we were just kids, waterfalls and sun-tanned
("how many steps from here to the house?" "guess what time it is" I'd get it right. I loved that look in your eyes when I spooked you out, in such random insights. I was a witch, you knew it. I can still feel your eyes on the dragonfly that landed on my chin. I remember your fake name written on sand, I do)

You may say we should've stayed kids,
It's tempting to agree with you
I miss sharing the mattress, the blanket, and the head-phones, I do
But our mistakes are ours, and hours of flight, like you said.
And I will sing you forever what I sang the first time:
"She's the kind of girl you want so much it makes you sory,
Still you don't regret a single day"

I would never regret the distress you caused me
The things I put you through
I would never regret the days we were unhappy
the pain we went through
I would never regret us trying to be what we thought we could,
who we thought we were,
the mistakes we made
just like grown-ups do.

I would never believe I could live
the way I now do
in the eternal process of knowing
there are no grown-ups

I'll sit with you
and open my boxes
if you sit with me and open yours too.
We'll never be grown-ups,
but now I can show it
all the things that were hiding, and the things that you knew
and I hope you can trust me,
and I hope you can show me,
and I hope to see you.

Eye to eye for once, heart in hand
close enough to see the ripples, true enough to make amends
just like children do.





domingo, 17 de agosto de 2014

scene 12. take 3.

- do you still love your ex?
- yes.
- which one.
- all three of them.
- you've only had two boyfriends.
- yeah, well I still love someone who was never my boyfriend too.
- does it hurt?
- Sometimes. like having arms and legs and a kidney, and a head, and lungs. sometimes you get a head-ache, sometimes your arms get sore, eventually you might even have kidney-stones, or lung cancer. People you love become organs. I've never had any intention of un-loving anyone. It would be something like ceasing to be someone's daughter, sister, mother. It would be like unliving a whole year, or ten. It would be like chopping out a limb, out of pure spite. I don't intend to mutilate myself. That's why I stopped shaving, by the way.

eu sei que vou te amar
por toda a minha vida eu vou te amar
sem desespero algum

cada coração que nasce em mim expande explode, vira a esquina um mar
será teu pra sempre
o corpo se fecha então, por sobre a carne, treme, arqueia, contrai, arde
e concebe um novo coração
que eu dou de presente
como a boca, o cabelo, a buceta, as mãos e os poemas, pra quem eu quiser
antes que se feche a porta, te peço, leva

e recomeço.

cabem em mim, fora de mim, todos os amores do mundo
o ciclo está no meio, o pêndulo quer enxergar.
aqui tem um novo, pequeno coração
em torno de mim, nada
em torno de mim, todos
todas

ali todos os corpos do mundo, todas as iris, todas as línguas, todas as voltas todas as ondas

nunca, nem por um segundo, deixei de amar quem tomou-me-tomou-se a mão
não é roubável,
é confecção própria, coisa que não quer ficar em si
todos são presentes

há corações para dar e vender,
esperando dentro das células

eu tenho tudo.

segunda-feira, 11 de agosto de 2014

A cidade, por baixo do corpo,
se descortina aos poucos

tocada de ataques sutis,
nas suas diversas zonas erógenas,
a cidade de edifícios foices
não se percebe anoitecer
não atenta ao próprio aterro

racha o asfalto
arranha o marco zero

a cidade, distendida de dentro,
remodulada,
moldada pelo corpo,
abre frestas.

O mundo, enfim,
como a lagoa Rodrigo de Freitas,
tem nome de homem
mas é mulher

domingo, 10 de agosto de 2014

don't worry, it's not addictive

the first time it was strange
your taste didn't go down right with mine,
you opened your mouth way too wide,
the smoke made me cough, got into my eyes.

then I started to laugh, in the mist of the fog

It might've been the second, or tenth time, when I finaly felt it:
the strawberry after-taste.
you made me say stupid things, feel drowsy,
and held.

Habit's the bitch, they say
glues your ass to the couch,
I could never get away.
It always started the same:
You're confused, I feel lonely, okay.

We could've written a thousand books, or one page
our friendship's minimum wage
on all the philosophical reasons
for my midnight terrors,
for your back-and-forth-forcefield
and we'd never have gotten anywhere,
past the living room window,
past the fire-escape stares

Baked, cooked, drunk, sweaty.
I held my own hand, when yours wasn't steady.

Like any addiction, we decided to quit
half of us, anyway.
I wanna grow up, you wanna grow it
You wanna grow up, I wanna grow old
no harm, no faul, no goal.

You don't need it when you're okay, you don't need it to celebrate,
you need it while you're trying to write, you need it when there's noone in sight.

And to sum up the pop song cliche:
you're strong, though you look just like the soft stuff.
last time I did you, I had such a bad trip,
with only a puff,
that now I get scared of the cliff just by getting near,
just by saying hello.
Can't remember your medicinal uses
that you can cure cancer,
depression
and, at times, even hunger. 





What went right,
when we were supposed to turn left?
I was never in love
I was never your best friend
We were never in the same continent

so why can't we ever see each other again?